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Description
pencil drawing, photography, digital photomanipulation
when i did the original drawing, "shadow of memory," it began as a doodle while i was watching tv and it more or less just happened without my paying much attention to it. when i finally looked at it i was absolutely horrified and had no idea where inside me it came from.
about 2 months later while seeing my veterans service officer i experienced what my first therapist called a "catastrophic memory recovery" related to my time in the navy which explained the origin of the drawing. later on i would experience more such recoveries.
while there are other traumas that happened during my service, they came later and i have always remembered them. the first one, however, resulted in a total change in my personality and persona; the way i explain it is that the person i WAS "died" that day and the person i AM was born. how i handled the later incidents, both at the time of them and after, was determined by that change.
my primary mental illness diagnosis is PTSD-MST meaning that i have both "regular" ptsd as well mst, a special type of ptsd. in VA and psychological jargon, MST stands for military sexual trauma.
when i did the original drawing, "shadow of memory," it began as a doodle while i was watching tv and it more or less just happened without my paying much attention to it. when i finally looked at it i was absolutely horrified and had no idea where inside me it came from.
about 2 months later while seeing my veterans service officer i experienced what my first therapist called a "catastrophic memory recovery" related to my time in the navy which explained the origin of the drawing. later on i would experience more such recoveries.
while there are other traumas that happened during my service, they came later and i have always remembered them. the first one, however, resulted in a total change in my personality and persona; the way i explain it is that the person i WAS "died" that day and the person i AM was born. how i handled the later incidents, both at the time of them and after, was determined by that change.
my primary mental illness diagnosis is PTSD-MST meaning that i have both "regular" ptsd as well mst, a special type of ptsd. in VA and psychological jargon, MST stands for military sexual trauma.
Image size
4200x3300px 4.1 MB
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